Dayra how did you decide to come alone for two years to London? It is the question that everyone asks me when they meet me for the first time or with their reactions, Woww coming from so far and alone is only for brave (and for me, it’s something I had thought about for a long time, my friends at the university knew that whatever happened was what I wanted most, to leave the country far to study my master!)
I’ll start telling you the country that I come from. Ecuador, my country is so wonderful! I was born in Guayaquil, a beautiful city where its climate is warm and the beach is close, but my parents always lived in Quito, which is the capital of Ecuador. All my life I have been traveling from one place to another for the work of my dad and I think this has helped me, that in any circumstance in which I am, I enjoy life and most importantly BE HAPPY!! I am grateful with my parents for this. I think that thanks to this, for better or for worse, I’ve always gotten used to traveling to know new things, new people, new cultures, which for me means you move forward and there’s always something new to do. I already had a lot of time in Ecuador and I felt very stuck. I was born as in a cradle of gold thanks to all the effort and work of my parents, but since I was little, my parents with their demands, they made me demanding! And never for me is anything enough, I always wanted to continue discovering and improving. My father always repeated me since I was little, that the only thing that leads you to the excellent is to continue preparing and studying, that’s why I always looked for courses, I always wanted to learn more, I always wondered why everything, and whenever I traveled to the first world, I felt very identified with the culture than with the culture of my country.
After having graduated from engineering, the next step was the master’s degree, but first look for work experience and I worked in the UDLA university and TELEFONICA for 6 years, once I saw that everything was the same and monotonous and to be honest I was surrounded by people who did not know what they wanted in their life, I was beginning to feel stuck and that I wanted something different, that’s where my application to foreign universities began, where I was among the United States, Spain or Great Britain.
Obviously I was very afraid to go alone away from my house! Far from everything I am, but what pushed me the most to leave was, is to ask me the question, is this the life I want to live? Even though I have a house, a car, I want to live at the expense of what others say? To that although many things are wrong in my society, I must do blind eyes and follow everything they do and agree with that? Have to marry because I’m already reaching 30 years and if I do not find soon I’ll be staying alone? I have to get married or He is not taking me seriously? Because everyone is already getting married I also have to do it, even though I have a boyfriend and the relationship is not going well? Because I need to prove to society that the right thing to do is get married? That the next step I should take is not to continue preparing myself because you have to get married to have a secure future? that all my savings are going to be destined for once I get married to buy house, etc? Have to continue in WhatsApp groups of people with whom I do not feel at all identified of everything they talk and do, but to be able to maintain a good relationship with everyone I had to be tolerant of that? For a relationship to work, it has to go through several approval filters such as friends and family, and if one does not agree then everything will go wrong and they are easily influenced by everything they say about the machismo that exists in the society? All pretend to have beautiful marriages and a perfect lifes, but you go out to many parties and you see that everyone is cheating and lying to their partners? I see how all my friends have to control their boyfriends, and boys have control of girls so and make sure they do not do things that can cheating them instead of having healthy relationships? It was very hard for me to think, that people of almost 30 years old are still living with their parents and do everything they say, and worst of all, that they still have the responsibility to keep them.
The culture in my country is very complicated, because everyone gets into your life and the truth that tires and despair and a lot of people fall in that pressure and end up doing what society says or does despite many times that does not make them happy at all! I refused to that and I knew that in the countries that call themselves the first world, things are not like that!! And now believe me that I’ve been in London for almost 6 months now, I can tell you that although it’s true I do not have a house and car here, I’m a really happy woman! I have never liked to settle for anything, because I really know what is good when you propose and work hard for that. It motivates me to be a better version of me, to see that most people of my age, here already occupy extremely important positions and continue to work hard to keep growing.
With this I do not seek to say that my society is the worst, and that I hated to be there, well no! I love my country and the pride of being Ecuadorian is indescribable, my point is, that you ask yourself the question of why do what you do. Do what really makes you happy, not because you feel pressure for what others do or say.
Now that I am far away, knowing new cultures, I can tell you that it feels so good to be with genuine people, who know what they want and where they are going, that to do things they do not have to ask permission from dad or mom to do it or they need supervision of someone to do because they do not feel confident about what they do or say… and at the end, they are the people who have helped me the most and have really cared about me, that despite all the money or success they have, they do not take away how humble they are, because it has cost them to get where they are and they are willing to give you a hand so that you also get to that place. From this I speak, learn to relate to people who make you a better version of yourself, instead of giving you more money or instead of just taking a party or giving you a status. I speak that, with your hard work and preparation you can get where you propose to be, and everything comes at its right time without pressing anything.
I have a manager, who has two children and lives with his girlfriend, and he always called my attention to how happy and uncomplicated he is (apart from that he is so very handsome jaja). and I had the opportunity to talked with him, and I told him that I was very interested in how he is, because he is the first person I know who is so happy having two children and that he lives with the girlfriend, and I asked him, why do not get married if you have everything and you are very happy? and he answered, Dayra told me why I would get married if I do not believe in any of that? I do not go to church, I do not pray. And only with this answer He leave in shock! and then he asked me, And I wonder in your society, they get married even if they do not believe? And I said yes, there are many people married by the church who do not even go to church on Sundays, and he told me that is so old school. And he also told me, that not married does not mean “I’m not going to leave my girlfriend and my two children because I work every day to give them the best, we have 6 years together and I will not run away if things get complicated. Also told me you have to understand that you will not have everything in life, you have to make sure that wherever you are you should be happy and you will see how things come, but, if you live complaining, things and situations will never arrive! And I was so in shock jaja, with the security in which he spoke to me. There are many people in London like him and that is what makes this place so wonderful.
Coming to London, I’m not going to deny it, it was the hardest thing I’ve done in my life, and at the beginning I suffered! But instead of staying locked in pain, I began to move to get work soon, to put into practice everything I had learned, go to classes. And there will be more posts to tell you how I got work and how is the study in London. You will stay where you are or you risk having more opportunities than you ever imagined that could come to your life? Because I assure you that the first world will give you much more than you imagine, or if you work much harder in your country instead of waiting for others to do things for you, you will see how things come, but if you do not work on your dreams, let me tell you that nobody else will do it for you, and if yes It requires a lot of sacrifice and work, but I assure you that it feels very good once it is achieved and God and life have the best rewards.